The Insanity Of Funny T-Shirts And The Absurd

February 9, 2011

The act of laughing is just as natural as snow falling on the mountains or a stream bubbling down its path to the ocean. Laughter is key for humans to vent out anxiety and refresh the mind. It is a natural social response that indicates commonality amongst a group and can show relief at the passing of danger. When you mix the absurd into the pot, the whole equation suddenly gets really weird. The laughter that absurdity induces is often laced with confusion, and I absolutely love it. This is why the funny t-shirts I wear are always extremely off-kilter and absurd.

Wearing absurd, funny t-shirts is almost like playing a prank on everyone you encounter. You know that whatever inane joke you’re telling with your shirt is going to be difficult to grasp, but that’s okay. Once the observer understands the absurd nature of the humor, the shared laughter is genuine. It is a bonding experience to overcome the small challenge of absurdity. It is an absolute truth that laughter is the best way to join two people together in a common cause, even if that common cause is something so small as an absurd joke.

The whole point of being absurd is to force people out of their comfort zone and into a world of the unknown where anything can happen. Monty Python perfected the technique, and their form of absurdist humor is still popular today. When you deal with absurdist comedy, up can be down or even sideways. When people are jerked out of normalcy and into the absurd, every situation is a challenge. No one knows what could happen or where the joke could lead. This makes my insanely funny t-shirts the greatest social tool I own.

When speaking of the absurd, you must make a mention and a bow to Eugene Ionesco. He was a writer of plays during the 50’s who created some of the most insane social commentary you may ever experience. His goal was to smash through common perceptions of conformity and conversation, hold up a mirror, and show the audience how crazy they already are. He may have been a suit-and-tie kind of fellow, but I be he’d be wearing my kind of funny t-shirts anyway.

Absurdity is an art form. It is a mystery because of its irregularity to normal comedy. People have to actually work to understand the joke, and many people are simply too lazy to appreciate it these days. Can you imagine a world where anything could happen? Pioneers like Ionesco and the guys from Monty Python could, and they invited you to come and join them. Funny t-shirts are something simple that anyone can wear, but when you mix the truly absurd into the fray…well, then the hippos really will have won.


Guys Wear Funny T-Shirts To Get Girls, And Other Absurdities

February 9, 2011

There is only one reason guys do anything besides eat, poop, and sleep. The main motivation behind what guys do is for the ladies. Now, you may question that after seeing a guy punch another guy in the shoulder and make a fart joke, but that punch and that fart joke for all for the benefit of impressing the female gender. From the occasional out-of-place burp to the funny t-shirts they wear, guys are just screaming for some feminine attention.

Funny t-shirts are a great place to start when analyzing the inner mind of dudes everywhere. Guys will put a funny t-shirt on strictly for the purpose of making a girl stare at him for more than a few seconds. He chooses a shirt that is provocative, offensive, or misogynist because he is trained by his past experiences to know that these funny t-shirts get the most attention. Even negative attention from a girl is enough to make a fellow return to that same behavior.

Remember in kindergarten when a little boy would run up to a little girl and pull her braids? She would cry and the little boy would run away laughing. This may seem like a mean thing to do, and the little boy should rightly be punished for his behavior. In reality, the little girl’s tears were a way of getting the little girl to notice the existence of the little boy. Even though it is terrible, juvenile behavior, boys are doing the same thing today in the form of offending women with raunchy, funny t-shirts.

Funny t-shirts may not be as aggressive as pulling a little girl’s braids, but it is a very similar tactic. A woman that is met by chance may forget about a man within just a few seconds if he does not stand out in some way. If he wears a funny t-shirt that blatantly offends the woman, she will remember him for much longer. It is easier to make an apology than to never get the chance to say ’hello’.

Guys are simple creatures and they respond to simple stimulus. Being a representative of the male gender gives me a certain introspective view of the whole situation that women will never be able to grasp. All you have to remember when you see a man being an idiot and wearing funny t-shirts is that it is all for your own benefit. You should be quite flattered that someone would make a moron of themselves all for you.


Funny Fat Guy T-Shirts Are The American Way

February 1, 2011

America today is fueled by fried food, drive-thru windows, and television. The bad part about that is that it has made us into some pretty overweight people. The good side is that it has made us into a pretty happy people. If it wasn’t fun to eat whatever the heck we wanted to, Americans would all be skinny and super healthy. The sad fact is that obesity makes us happy. It is the anti-fat culture in America is what stresses us out when we should be celebrating. It is past time we put on our funny fat guy t-shirts and got happy about being fat.

There are going to be some critics out there who are going to cry “foul” when they see me wearing funny fat guy t-shirts and eating a pile of French fries. Yes, being overweight is not very healthy. There all kinds of risks involved with letting your weight go. We all know about this because it is hammered into us daily by all directions. We know we are in danger of all of these health problems, but we frankly don’t care. Fat people live in the now. What is the famous saying for drinkers? “I would rather be a good liver than have one?”

There is nothing more American than being fat and happy, and nothing is fatter or happier than funny fat guy t-shirts. All of the world looks to the United States with contempt because of the massive majority of us who are fat. Frankly, it is none of the world’s business what Americans do with our time or money. If we want to celebrate our success with food, then so be it. We are a prosperous country and not many of us are for want of something to eat. There are many countries in the world that are full of starving people, but does that mean we have to cut back out of American guilt?

Most of our children will never grow up hungry, cold, or scared. Even in our most desperate times, we are nowhere near as poor as 90% of the world. It is time to celebrate this fact. No more guilt or shame for us, thank you. We’ll take a second helping of modest satisfaction with a side of extra fries. I know that I will probably never be a thin person because of years of bad habits, but that doesn’t mean I need to be unhappy. I will wear my funny fat guy t-shirts and take joy in my life.

No one can make you feel bad about being fat but yourself. There are many people who will call you names, shun you, or roll their eyes when you walk past. I have no room in my life for the emotions those people try to make me feel. I am who I am. I am a funny fat guy in a funny fat guy t-shirt, and I dare the world to accept me for who I am. Guess what skinny, America? The fat people outnumber you 2 to 1. You are not elite anymore. Skinny is the new minority.


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January 31, 2011

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